Ydnas: The Girl of the Prophecies Read online

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  “Synthesis is Life, Analysis is Death.”

  (from the popular song, “Making a Family”)

  Vidigeon was the First Seer of the Guardians of Evil. His capacity for perception and cognition were massive. He could with a single glance see the unique coloring of every grain of sand on a vast beach. In a thunderstorm, he could hear and analyze the splash of every drop. From the footprints of an army marching in the desert, he could count the number of soldiers, and estimate the height and weight of each, to within a tenth of a knuckle and a hummingbird’s heft. Toss a speck of sawdust into a torrent, and Vidigeon could calculate where it would be in a day, and miss by less than a manlength. Watching Kor run, he knew that she would make it home, in 11,031 steps (give or take 3), and that she would take a hot bath to warm herself up.

  Without leaving the present, Vidigeon could infer much about the past and the future; without leaving Kondrastibar, he could analyze the interiors of stars; and by observing the dances of galaxies, he could come to understand the tiny pixies, unimaginable numbers of which are required to form a single speck of dust.

  All manner of things fascinated him, and he never ceased to learn. Nor was he squeamish; he would investigate maimed and diseased bodies with the same enthusiasm as he would investigate healthy ones, and in fact he would often experience a kind of childlike delight upon coming across a victim of some rare or extreme indisposition, or someone who had several infirmities at once. Thus did he observe, categorize, predict, and explain various forms of infection, rot, blight, canker, taint, poisoning, infection, putrefaction, festering, bloating, dysfunction, collapse, decomposition, decay, trauma, fracture, pestilence, rigor, gangrene, parasitism, boil, abscess, tumor, monstrosity, pain, convulsion, depression, defect, disability, decline, and death. Likewise, he spied eagerly upon humans in their sexual and excretory activities, and in their moments of vice and crime. But he was interested in every side of human life, in all its glorious variety.

  And yet sometimes, he felt boredom. There was always something new to observe, categorize, predict, and explain, and often the task was challenging, even for him; but he was like a child in a flower garden: every flower was beautiful, and yet, after looking at a few, he would get tired of them all. Such fatigue was a problem for him, since there was little else he was capable of doing, besides observing and theorizing. He would continue such activities, but they would become tedious.

  At such times he would contact his Systems Confessor, Geristor, who would render him temporarily unconscious, run a diagnostic, and, tinkering with Vidigeon’s inner workings, re-invigorate his sense of wonder. As Vidigeon knew, it was a matter of replacing certain small numbers, in certain places within him, with larger ones; 1/4 by 15/16, for example. The most important such number (for this purpose) was called his ‘coefficient of wonder.’

  He had once wondered why he couldn’t make such changes himself, and immediately he figured it out: there was a danger when intelligent beings could tinker with their own ultimate feelings of pleasure and pain: such beings would always be tempted to make themselves feel good, regardless of the situation. He was aware that humans became addicted to drugs, entertainment, wealth, power, prestige, work, danger, punishment, and religious experiences, for just this sort of reason.

  He also wondered why his coefficient of wonder couldn’t just be permanently set to 15/16, and immediately saw that without the ability to have different degrees of wonder, varying according to object and situation, a sentient being might well be unable to direct its attention rationally to one subject rather than another.

  Finally, he wondered why his system needed constant intervention by Geristor. In fact, he proposed to Geristor a way of re-constructing himself, so that his system would correct these problems itself, but involuntarily, and hence without his being in danger of addiction. Geristor agreed that the revisions that Vidigeon had suggested would solve the problem, but explained that, for various reasons, Vidigeon’s Creator and Lord had decided to create him with what amounted, from the point of view of pure rationality, to a flaw. Trusting his Lord implicitly, Vidigeon ceased to criticize this aspect of himself.

  Great though Vidigeon was, though, some things were hidden from him. The actions of human beings were sometimes difficult for him to predict, and the nature of the gods was unclear. Above all, Good and Evil, and the Unity and Purpose of all things, were beyond his comprehension. To Vidigeon, the world was a collection of separate, meaningless facts about space, time, and probability, connected only by similarities, differences, logical entailment, and causal laws. For example: he was familiar with 1,597 distinct forms of slavery, and the vast ethical literature concerning them, but he had no opinion of his own about whether slavery was right or wrong; in fact, he strongly suspected that there was no truth to the matter, that people’s judgments of right and wrong were purely subjective, reflecting their own personal preferences but completely unrelated to the objective world, in which things just were, without being good or bad. But he had a great ambition to gain greater wisdom, and he read (looking over the shoulders of human readers) hundreds of books every day, including many on Ethics and related subjects.

  Only what was thoroughly hidden away, or veiled by magic, could escape Vidigeon’s sight. His millions of tiny eyes were mounted on floating dust motes throughout Kondrastibar. He also had millions of diminutive ears and noses. All these sensors were connected, via a great invisible net, known as the “Ectoplasmic Reticulum,” that spread throughout the city. This net, which had existed long before Vidigeon himself, brought the information to his brain, which was divided into many parts; each such part was a calculating crystal, hidden underground. There were millions of them, scattered throughout the city. Each one was self-sufficient, and all could think simultaneously, and communicate with the others through the net. The destruction of one, or a hundred, would weaken him, but as long as one of them remained, Vidigeon would survive, and process information for his Lord.

  Because of his great powers, Vidigeon was able to check on every inhabitant of Kondrastibar, at least once, in the time of a breath. Some were more interesting to him than others, however, and he distributed his attention accordingly. One of those who attracted his special attention was Talek. Vidigeon, like Kor, had never seen through Talek’s cloak; whenever he attempted to do so, the sensor would malfunction. Occasionally, Vidigeon could not even locate him. For just this reason, Vidigeon paid a lot of attention to Talek when he could.

  When his Lord (who called himself “The Lord of Evil”) had first created him, Vidigeon had been charged, as his first and foremost task, with finding a girl who was to fulfill a number of ancient prophecies. One of these prophecies said:

  “In the moment of crisis, a Girl will find a new balance for Good and Evil, and lead us to a new and higher life.”

  Eagerly, Vidigeon had begun to search. Since he did not understand Good and Evil, he did not at first know how to look for someone who might find a new balance for them. But he had quickly remembered that he could find things without understanding everything about them; he only needed to know something about them. Very rapidly, he had learned a great deal about the ancient prophecies. He also learned what various people considered good and evil to be, although this was often vague, and although they often disagreed with one another, and even with themselves. These disagreements, he suspected, were themselves important clues. Using this as a beginning, he began to search Kondrastibar for the Girl.

  Vidigeon’s ken went through the streets faster than lightning; it entered closed houses like a clap of thunder. It saw a thousand details on a grain of dust, and unraveled patterns that stretched for a thousand horizons. Searching for the Girl, he found a million clues, in the time of a single breath; each clue by itself was quite misleading, but taken together they formed an intricate puzzle that Vidigeon could tentatively solve. Relentlessly, he continued. Vidigeon’s ken thus wove a massive tapestry of relationships ab
out Kondrastibar and its inhabitants. Every detail of the city became a mirror in which the others were almost perfectly reflected. The imperfections showed him where he was going wrong. One day, he found an indication that felt a little more solid than the others. A year later, another. Six smallmonths later, yet another.

  Imagine an eye, deep in the heart of a mountain of ice. At first, it can see nothing. But once a year a bird flies past the mountain, and its body heat sublimes an invisibly small fraction of the crystal. After some unimaginably long period of time, most of the ice is worn away, and the eye sees a little light. Millennia later, the light is brighter, but still no details can be seen. Later still, the ice is a mere coating on the eye, and the eye can get a vague impression of details. Finally, the ice is gone altogether, and the eye can see the stars, the sun, the moon, the sea, the land, birds, seals and polar bears, fishermen and hunters, and even the shapes of particular snowflakes that float past. The eye never sees cold, but it begins to realize that there is such a thing.

  Time moves more slowly for Vidigeon than for us, and so it was only a matter of a few years before that day came for him; on that day, Vidigeon learned that a good candidate for such a girl did indeed exist. He requested a connection to the Lord of Evil immediately. No image appeared, but a massive presence could be felt.

  “Where is she?”

  “I cannot yet say, my Lord. There are forces working to hide her from me.”

  “Keep looking!”

  “Yes, Lord!”

  Vidigeon returned to his search. He began to understand many of the tricks of those who were trying to hide her. He learned to ignore their misdirections, and to penetrate by inference their magical disguises. His vision became clearer. And finally, there she was! Disguised as an ordinary girl, in an ordinary neighborhood.

  “I have found her,” he reported, telling who and where.

  “Watch her, and report if she leaves. I will send agents.”

  Vidigeon watched. He saw and reported the girl being warned, taken up by friends, and moved, pursued by the agents of his Lord. He struggled to keep her in view. His vision flickered and blurred as his Lord’s enemies cast powerful spells to hide her. He saw numberless battles, large and small, between the Lord and his enemies. Some took place on blood-soaked fields, others in the hearts of individuals. Centuries passed, yet she never grew older. From time to time, Vidigeon would get a glimpse of her, only to lose her again. Finally, the forces of the Lord of Evil seemed to prevail. The Lord concentrated these forces on the girl. She disappeared.

  The Lord of Evil asked, “Has she been destroyed?”

  “I cannot find her anywhere, Lord.”

  “Perhaps she is only hidden.”

  “I do not know, Lord.”

  “Do you keep searching, and let me know if you see her again.”

  “Yes, Lord.” So he had searched again, and found ever new ways to penetrate ever new kinds of illusion. It seemed that every apparent road to truth was actually a road to falsehood. Yet by thoroughly exploring the false, he finally began to glimpse the true, as a sculptor chips a statue out of a block of stone by removing what does not belong to it. One day, he felt her presence yet again.

  “Lord,” said Vidigeon, “the Girl of the Prophecy is alive. She is near to her Temple, but she knows not who she is.”

  “I will send agents to that neighborhood. Do you keep watching.”

  “Yes, Lord.” The connection died.

  As always, Vidigeon felt a deep loneliness when he was disconnected from his Lord. In fact, he still felt isolated, when conversing with the Lord, for conversation still involves distance and difference. His second greatest desire was to serve his Lord, but his greatest was to be merged with Him, to be one with Him. He knew that this was his destiny, and that his life as a separate individual was only a test. He was determined to pass this test and sacrifice his own individuality, losing himself in his Lord.

  Putting aside his loneliness and his hopes, Vidigeon gathered himself to keep track of the girl. He was very tired. He tried to force himself to focus, but he failed; without knowing it, he fell asleep, and began to dream.

  In his dream, he saw the girl standing before him. “I’ve come to give you a hint,” she said, smiling at him. “Goodness is appropriateness. The Unity of All Things is complementarity.” Very pleased at having found the girl, he now began searching for himself. He sought and sought, but he could find no clue. How could that be so? He knew who he was; or at least, he knew a vast number of facts about himself. Each of those facts involved some relation between himself and other things. There was no fact that was just about him.

  The girl was smiling. “Why did you search for me?” she asked. “I was always very close to you. As close as your own self is when you think of yourself.”

  “Are you me, then?” he asked.

  “Do you know who you are?” she replied, smiling teasingly at him.

  He heard his own voice saying, “We … we …” Why was he thinking of himself as “we”? Finally, he said, “I have forgotten myself.” He was astounded. She was smiling impishly at him. He was smiling at his own perplexity. He felt a laugh bubbling up. “This is impossible,” he thought. “I have no sense of humor. And no mouth with which to smile, and no larynx, and no lungs, with which to laugh.” That too was amusing. The laugh felt itself bubbling up. He was a bubble, and the bubbling was turning him into a laugh. The laugh hugged the girl, who was also bubbling. Soon everything was a bubble, each reflected in all of the others. Or was there only one bubble, endlessly reflecting itself? Yes, the bubbling and the laugh and Vidigeon were all hilariously one.

  “You are the Unity of All Things!” laughed the girl. The laughing exploded in a brilliant flash. For a moment, there was nothing. A moment later, Vidigeon thought he saw the nature of Good and Evil, and the Unity and Purpose of All Things, only to lose them again. The explosion spent its force, and his world was cloaked in darkness.

  Vidigeon slept.